How to Find Out Who Is Sending You Valentine's Cards

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Last Updated: March 10, 2025

It's Valentine's Day and you've received a card. But just who is it from? This article explains how you might go about finding out who has sent you that secret Valentine's card..

Steps

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1
Ask questions about the mode of delivery. How did you receive the Valentine's card? There are vital clues in the mode of delivery if you look closely:
- If it was hand delivered to your home, consider who you know who lives locally, or who could possibly drop by on their way to work or studies.
- If the Valentine's card was sent by mail to your house list, consider who has access to your home address. If your name and address are publicly available, this clue won't be so useful though.
- Ask other members of the household if they saw anything or talked to anyone when the card arrived.
- Have a look at the postmark on the front of the envelope. This may give you a clue to the area your admirer is from. Be careful though, the sender may have been very clever about finding a post office well away from their usual haunts.
- If the Valentine's card was left for you to find at work, it almost definitely would be from one of your colleagues. And chances are they would be keeping their eye on you to make sure you received it. This will narrow the field considerably.
What type of Valentine's card is it? Romantic, humorous, cute, tacky, minimal or elaborate? In most cases, it's probable that your secret admirer would have unwittingly selected a card that reflects their own personality. For example, the hot photographer from the café would have very different tastes from your pub mate. From your list of suspects, who do you think best suits the card?

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3
Analyse the message. What exactly has the sender written on the card? Your admirer will want you to find out who they are, so will have hopefully left a clue:
- Think back to conversations you have had with people who might be the sender - does anything click between things already said to your face and what is written in the card?
- Is the handwriting familiar to you? Don't put too much thought into this one though, as they may well have tried to disguised it, or typed it.
4
Probe the suspects. By now you must have reduced your list down to a few key players. Find a time when you're alone with each of them and casually bring up the subject of Valentine's Day. Mention that you received an anonymous card and watch their reaction. If they look nonplussed, chances are that it wasn't from them. If they blush, grin uncontrollably, or show a lot of interest - you're probably on the right track.
- Ask if they sent any cards this Valentine's Day. If they say "No", drop the subject and move on. If they say they did, ask to whom. This is perfect because if they tell you that it was to someone else, you can feign interest as they tell you all about her without losing face, but if it was to you, they will be obliged to come clean.
- Choose the next move. It's now down to you to decide whether you want to take things further with your secret admirer or not.

Community Q&A

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Question

How do I send a card without my crush finding out it was me?

Community Answer

Make sure you use handwriting that is different from yours, or use a computer to write the card. Don't put a return address on the card, or make sure no one sees you if you're dropping it off.

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I found a valentine on my locker at school and I don't know who sent it. How do I figure out who wrote it?

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Look at the handwriting, see who acts odd around you, or who is looking or staring at you most of the time.

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Could I get my friend to write what I say in the card for me?

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Yes, you could, but only tell them if you trust them because then they will know your crush. It's up to you.

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Tips

Remember that mates sometimes send cards for a lark, so take it with a sense of good humour if it turns out that they were just doing it for fun.

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If you have several cards from different admirers, you will have to spend more effort on finding out which senders might have sent them to you.

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Warnings

Don't badger people over the card; not only is this bad manners but it might change the mind of your true Valentine! Do this with care and consideration for the feelings of others.

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