Is "Shut Up" a Curse Word or Offensive to Say?

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Accredited parenting coach and author Sarah R. Moore explains why it’s rude and what you can say instead.

Co-authored by Sheila A. Anderson and Dev Murphy, MA

Last Updated: October 28, 2025 Fact Checked

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• Is "shut up" a bad word?
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• Is it ever OK to say "shut up"?
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• Alternatives to Saying “Shut Up”
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• Why are some words considered bad words?
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• Video

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Most of us learned that "shut up" is a pretty rude thing to say to another person, but is it a bad word? Well, the short answer is, it depends on who you ask and on how you define "bad words." In this article, we'll dive into the differing perspectives on "shut up," including whether it counts as a curse word and if it's always wrong to say, with expert insights from a parenting coach and image consultants.

Is "shut up" a swear word?

According to accredited parenting coach and author Sarah R. Moore, "shut up" isn't usually considered a curse word, but it's generally viewed as offensive and very disrespectful to say to someone else in a serious conversation. However, some people use it jokingly in casual contexts, and this is typically not considered rude.

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Section 1 of 4:

Is "shut up" a bad word?

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1. 
   "Shut up" isn’t generally considered a curse word, but it is rude. Moore explains, “‘Shut up’ isn’t a bad word per se, but it certainly won’t win anyone any friends, either. At best, it’s off-putting, and at worst, it can land as downright rude.”

   • You might consider "shut up" to be a "diet curse word": It's rude, but not so offensive that you need to replace any letters with asterisks or bleep it out on television.
   • Is saying "shut up" a sin, according to the Bible? Well, technically speaking, "Thou shalt not say 'shut up'" doesn't appear in the Bible, but "Do unto others as you would have them do to you" does (it's the golden rule, which Jesus said in Matthew 7:12). If your feelings would be hurt by someone telling you to "shut up," then you shouldn't say it to anyone else, either!

   Meet the wikiHow Expert

   Sarah R. Moore is a certified parenting master trainer and the founder of Dandelion Seeds Positive Parenting. She’s also the author of Peaceful Discipline: Story Teaching, Brain Science and Better Behavior.

   Sheila A. Anderson is a certified image consultant who specializes in empowering professionals to raise their personal image to meet the value of their brand.

   Carolyn Powery is a certified business etiquette consultant and image coach. She specializes in helping clients succeed in any social or business environment.
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Section 2 of 4:

Is it ever OK to say "shut up"?

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1. 
   1
   It's generally always considered rude to say "shut up" seriously. There's really no beating around the bush: even though most people might not view "shut up" to be a curse word in the same way as "d*mn it" or "shut the f*ck up," it's still pretty offensive. How would you feel if you were trying to tell someone something, and they just said, "Shut up"? You'd probably feel pretty lousy.

   • In fact, you could make the argument that it's worse than a simple "f*ck!" because when you tell someone to "shut up," you're being really disrespectful towards them specifically.
   • Even when you're in the middle of an argument, and you're already angry at someone, telling them to "shut up" is likely to just make things worse, and as certified image consultant Sheila A. Anderson cautions, "How you conduct yourself during difficult conversations says a lot about your character and trustworthiness." Best to avoid it!
   • Want to break the "shut up" habit? Check out our guide to "How to Stop Swearing" and "How to Replace Swear Words with Less Offensive Words." (Even though "shut up" isn't generally considered a "swear," it's not a great habit to have!)
2. 
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   It’s usually OK to say "shut up!" to convey excitement or disbelief. In casual situations, people sometimes say "shut up!" to show that they're surprised or really, really excited about something. It's generally OK to say this to friends or casual acquaintances, but not so much to your boss, teacher, or parents.

   • Example:
     • Dave: "Sabrina Carpenter's coming here on tour soon! We've got to get tickets!"
       Clark: "Shut UP! She is not! We've got to go!!!!"
3. 
   3
   It might be OK to tell friends to "shut up" jokingly. If you're hanging out with your good friends and everyone's joking around, you might say, "Shut up!" while giggling when your bud says something dumb and silly. In this scenario, it's generally considered acceptable to say.

   • Example:
     • Sonja: "Ginny just looooooves Rhonda, don't you, Ginny?"
       Ginny: "Ugh, shut up, Sonja!"
   • Moore acknowledges that people do say “shut up” jokingly sometimes, but cautions: “The nervous system can’t tell the difference between a joke and an insult, so it’s best to avoid it and choose something constructive rather than divisive. Words are powerful, and every word we say has the power to strengthen or detract from our relationships.”
   • If you do use "shut up" in a joking way with your buds and they don't like it, reassure them that you weren't being serious, but that you won't use it again around them.
   EXPERT TIP

   

   Carolyn Powery

   Business Etiquette Expert & Personal Image Branding and Confidence Coach

   Carolyn Powery is a certified Business Etiquette Consultant and Image Coach based in West Palm Beach, Florida. As the founder of Prestige Etiquette and Image Consulting, she has over 16 years of experience helping provide clients with tools needed for success in any social or business environment. Carolyn is certified in Business, Social, and Children’s Etiquette from The Etiquette Institute, making her services ideal for business professionals, entrepreneurs, college students and children. Prestige Etiquette and Image Consulting LLC is a member of The Etiquette Institute.

   

   Carolyn Powery
   Business Etiquette Expert & Personal Image Branding and Confidence Coach

   It’s important to consider how others feel. Reflect on a time when someone was impolite to you and how that made you feel. If you think about it that way, it can help you be more conscious of how you treat people and how you present yourself in different settings.
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Section 3 of 4:

Alternatives to Saying “Shut Up”

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1. Try a more polite response, instead. Instead of saying “shut up” to someone to get them to stop talking, Moore suggests that “even simple body language can help, such as holding up a hand or making the ‘time out’ sign, especially for someone who may not be responding to verbal cues. Alternatively, saying calmly, ‘I need to pause this conversation until I feel calmer,’ or ‘Please pause,’ or ‘Please be quiet,’ can help.”

   • “If someone’s saying it jokingly,” adds Moore, “an inoffensive alternative could be, “Really?” or “No way!”

Section 4 of 4:

Why are some words considered bad words?

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1. It’s based on our perception of the words. Moore says, “This may be controversial, but words are just words—it’s the emotional attachment that people have ascribed to them that makes some “sting” and others neutral or healing.”

   • “To figure out if something is a ‘bad’ word for your family,” Moore adds, “it helps to examine your values, the impact your words might have on others, and whether we want to speak in ways that add healing versus harm to the world.”
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