What Does Kissing on the First Date Mean?

Co-authored by Lauren Sanders and Madeleine Flamiano

Last Updated: July 30, 2022 Fact Checked

Getting a kiss on your first date can be super fun, but a lot of questions could pop up, too. Maybe you’re curious about all the different messages a kiss sends. You may wonder if your date is serious about you or if they just want a little excitement. We’ll walk you through different possibilities of what kissing on the first date might mean. Read on so you’ll feel confident and prepared for new connections.

1

They had a good time.

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They enjoyed the date and your company. If your date stays put the whole time, laughs it up with you, and gives you lots of eye contact, they think you’re a great conversationalist. Their first kiss is a reward for how amazing and fun you are. ^{[1]
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- If your date goes longer than expected, it’s a sign your date is very interested in you. For example, if you two agreed to an hour-long coffee date, but hang out for five hours, then they had a blast.
- Your date might compliment you as well. They may say something like, “You really know your way around this city! I love that.” They want to encourage you and make you feel proud.
- If you want to tell them you have a really great time, you can make the first move. You could also give some praise like, "You're a blast!"

2

They’re testing the chemistry.

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They’re trying to confirm there’s a spark between you. Your date could be curious about what intimacy or a relationship with you would be like.^{[2]
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Lauren Sanders
Matchmaker & Dating Coach

Expert Interview} If their mouth waters and their heart races, they may feel way more invested in you. They’ll also like the opportunity to see if there’s real potential for passion.^{[3]
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- Look into their eyes after your first kiss. If you see excitement or tenderness, then they probably felt the chemistry they wanted to check for.
- Your date might also initiate more physical touch. For instance, they might run their hand up your back. That’s another good sign that the kiss was successful.^{[4]
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- If you’d like to check for some compatibility, ask for a kiss and see how you feel afterward.

3

They want to see how they feel about them.

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Making a physical connection is their way to see if there's a match. Your date might take a while to warm up. They could be more patient or observant, and they might not want to make any snap judgments. When they focus on deep talks and finally kiss you, they could consider that the last step of your first date. They’ll use that last kiss as a way to figure out if there’s a spark.^{[5]
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- Some people wait to flirt or show any affection. Your date might be more interested in your conversation. Listen for if they ask about your values or seem hooked by good stories.
- Your date might prefer to say they’re into you before they make their first move. For instance, they could say, “You’re really good looking!”
- If you’re patient and like to wait until the end of the date, you can tell them that. You can even say, “I wanted to work up to this, but now feels like the right time.”

4

They’re spontaneous and playful.

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They want to show off their exciting and unpredictable side. Your date might just be really fun-loving and like to joke around. If they plant lots of kisses on you throughout the night, but they also pinch your cheeks or poke you, they might just have a silly personality. ^{[6]
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- If they laugh or giggle after you kiss, they could either be shy or they could just find the interaction cute and light-hearted. You can ask them about where their head is at.
- They might smirk or smile and tell you, “You’re really fun!” Kisses could be their reflex when they’re in a bubbly mood.
- If you feel silly and want to give them a quick kiss, you can ask first. You can laugh and start off with something like, “You’re too much! Are you good with a little kiss?”

5

They're teasing you a little.

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They’d like to work you up and make you crave them. Your date may enjoy a good chase and a lot of tension. If they flirt with you a lot, give you lots of praise, and straight-up say they’re interested but delay the kiss, that could just be the kind of romance they prefer. ^{[7]
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- They might also give you cues that they’re super patient and like to play. They could say something like, “I’m really into you, but I’m not in a rush.”
- Check for flirty body language during your date. If they put their hand on your leg all night but then wait a long time to kiss you, they may just really like to tease.
- If you want to wind your date up, you can stick to some playful touches and wait to kiss them.

6

They got caught up in the heat of the moment.

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They’re feeling inspired and impulsive after a romantic night. They might not have put any thought into it. Instead, they chose to follow their impulses and let go of their inhibitions. Maybe your date just let the mood and the atmosphere of the day carry them away. ^{[8]
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- They might say something like, “The vibe just felt right.” They might not even know if that means they feel romantic or just excited.
- They could also make an exception for you since they like you so much. They may tell you, “I don’t usually kiss on the first date, but it feels right with you.”
- You might also lose yourself in all the fun and just kiss your date. Maybe you’ll ask yourself, “Why not?!”

7

They want to give you a good memory.

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They’re hoping a great first impression is all you need. Your date might want to end on a high note, and they might want to leave you wanting even more. Maybe they’re not ready to take things to the next level just yet, but they still want to see you again. Right now, they’re more than happy to give you a taste of what to expect from them. ^{[9]
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- They might pull away and make a cute comment like, “Something to remember me by.”
- They may also choose to give you the kiss right before they step into their car or walk away. It’s their way to make sure that’s the last detail you remember from your date.
- If you want them to think about you after the date, you can give them one peck followed by a deeper kiss, then say, “I wanted to give you a good memory.”

8

They’re attracted to you.

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They’re overwhelmed by their desire for you. Your date could tell you that they find you extremely good looking and that you’re just their type. They may feel more comfortable kissing you on a first date because it’s easy to physically connect with you.^{[10]
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Lauren Sanders
Matchmaker & Dating Coach

Expert Interview} That one kiss could be enough to satisfy their appetite, or they may be interested in even more. ^{[11]
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- They may say, “I have to admit. I’m so attracted to you. Can I kiss you?”
- They might also drop hints about their crush throughout the whole date, then ask, “You haven’t figured out by now that I want to kiss you?!”
- If you have a crush on them, ask if you can go for a kiss. You could start off with something like, “I just can’t take my eyes off of you.”

9

They feel a stong connection with you.

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They want to tell you the date was extremely meaningful to them. Maybe they really liked your personality or just experienced a strong connection with you. They could also say they became more inspired each minute they spent with you. ^{[12]
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- They could feel a kiss is a better way to express themselves. They may confess, “I feel so drawn to you right now, and I feel like I need to do this…”
- They might bring up a part of the date that totally dazzled them. For example, they could say, “I loved seeing the fire in your eyes when you shared all your opinions. I’m amazed by you.”
- Open up if they really swept you away. You can admit something like, “Thank you for sharing so much about yourself. I feel so close to you.”

10

They’re feeling romantic.

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They developed feelings pretty quickly and want to explore them. Your date might be a huge idealist and really sentimental, so they could really value the time they spent with you. They may have also shared a special moment with you and you stood out from other people that they’ve met. ^{[13]
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- They might refer to the way you both built rapport before you met up. They could say, “I loved all our long text conversations. I got to learn so much about you, and you’re even better in person!”
- They could also share that they have certain standards for a first date. They may share something like, “I really enjoyed myself tonight! I actually don’t go out to dinner with anyone unless I feel we have a lot in common.”
- Tell them if they make you melt and it’s a totally new experience for you. For example, you can confess, “I feel like that was the deepest conversation I’ve ever had on a first date! I’d really love to kiss you now.”

11

They want another date.

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Their kiss is an invitation to hang out with them again. Your date wants to tell you that they seriously want to pursue you. They’ll express their physical and mental attraction to you and skip something like a platonic hug. Since they took some initiative, they’ll also hope that you’ll admire their courage.^{[14]
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- They might try to get your attention before you both leave. For example, they might say, “Hey… before you go, I wanted to do this…”
- They may also let a little time pass. A few hours or even a day later, they could reach out with a text like, “That was a perfect end to the date. When can I see you again?”
- You could also express your desires after you kiss them. You could say something as simple as, “I’d love another date.”
- If you are a woman, you should only kiss if you genuinely want to kiss the person.^{[15]
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- If the other person tries to kiss you, you can say you are not ready for it yet.^{[17]
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- You can delay it and allow it on the second, third, or fourth date, or whenever you feel comfortable.^{[19]
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Join the Discussion...

Should you kiss on the first date?

WikiZebraGlider531

M23 here. What are your thoughts on kissing on a first date? I can never tell when I go on a date whether I should try for a kiss, how to do it, or when. I often end up not even attempting it because I don't want to come off too strong and frankly I also don't want to be rejected. Is it safest to just wait until date number 2? Or if not, how do you initiate a kiss on a first date?

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Is it normal to makeout on the first date?

Lauren Sanders
Matchmaker & Dating Coach
Lauren Sanders is a Professional Matchmaker, Dating Coach, and the Founder of Dating for the Soul. With over four years of experience, she specializes in helping singles find love. Lauren is also the author of Lipstick Faith: A Collection of Inspirational Writings and Life Lessons, You Deserve the World, Rainbows and Strawberries: 100 Devotions for the Brighter Side of Life, and Let's Go Outside Mommy. Lauren holds BS from Dillard University and a Masters from The University of North Georgia.

Lauren Sanders

Matchmaker & Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Yes, it is! Not everybody does that, but people whose love language is physical touch are usually more prone to kissing on the first date.

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