Do I Attract the Male Gaze or the Female Gaze?

Take this quiz to see whose eye you catch!

They say men and women see people differently. Are you someone who appeals more to men, or more to women?

Answer a few simple questions about yourself, and we'll tell you if you catch more of the male gaze or the female gaze.

A man showing a woman a phone and saying, "She's pretty."

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Questions Overview

1. What do you wear to the grocery store, or another simple errand?
  1. I put on something nice. I want to impress others.
  2. I wear something presentable, but not too showy. Like jeans a good shirt.
  3. I just throw anything on. Sweatpants will do.
2. A compliment means more to you when it comes from a:
  1. Guy
  2. Girl
3. Let us cook here: Do you think men and women can ever be just friends?
  1. Yeah, of course.
  2. Nah, there's always something between them.
  3. I don't know / It's complicated.
4. Which social media do you use more?
  1. TikTok
  2. Instagram
  3. Neither
5. Do you have more male friends or female friends?
  1. Male
  2. Female
  3. Equal, or it's complicated
6. Do you use any dating apps?
  1. Tinder
  2. Bumble or Hinge
  3. Something else
  4. None
7. When was the last time you finished a book?
  1. This month
  2. This year
  3. More than a year ago
  4. I can't remember
8. Choose the musician you like most:
  1. Beyoncé
  2. Drake
  3. Morgan Wallen
  4. Lady Gaga
  5. None of these
9. How do you see men, usually?
  1. As competition
  2. As friends
  3. As romantic interests
  4. Something else, or none of these
10. How do you see women, usually?
  1. As competition
  2. As friends
  3. As romantic interests
  4. Something else, or none of these

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The Male Gaze and Female Gaze Explained

What is the male gaze?
The male gaze is an idea first coined by feminist Laura Mulvey. It says that in films and other forms of media, women are often depicted not as full, complex, and nuanced people, but as characters made to appeal specifically to men. Mulvey says that often, women in media are simply sexual objects for men, people who look nice and are docile and submissive, which is what the average heterosexual male viewer wants out of a woman. In short, too many women characters aren’t actually women, but the artist’s ideal for what a woman is or should be.

That said, men can appeal to the male gaze, too. Men often desire male characters who are powerful, strong, confident, and attractive, because that’s how many men see themselves or want to see themselves. For example, think of ripped military characters or superheroes who give men the sense of a power fantasy. These characters might be attractive, but they cater primarily to men who want to be like those characters, not necessarily women who are watching those characters.

What is the female gaze?
The female gaze is a response to the male gaze and the inverse of it. It’s also part of feminist theory, and says that what a woman wants and sees in the media is different from a man. For example, something that appeals to the female gaze will have strong female characters who are nuanced and complex, just like real women. Also, male characters who appeal to the female gaze will be “safe” and trustworthy, nonthreatening and kind, as opposed to men who only see women as sexual objects.

What is the Male Gaze vs. Female Gaze TikTok trend?
This trend sees users presenting two versions of themselves: one for the male gaze and one for the female gaze. Women tend to show off their makeup and the differences in their glam when they want to appeal to a man versus when they want to appeal to a woman. Men tend to do the same with their wardrobe and styling.

But both versions kind of miss the point of the theory of the male gaze and female gaze. The point isn’t that you should want to appeal to one or the other. In fact, some would argue that wearing any kind of makeup at all is appealing to the male gaze. Instead, the point is that, when you’re watching a film or a work of art, you should think about and be aware of who made it and how they’re presenting men, women, and other people. Are they presenting a true, honest version, or are they presenting an idealized version based on their own desires and what they think an audience would want to see?

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